The Space In Between

A slight departure from the usual topic here.

I am an introvert.  For some people the idea of solitude is draining, lonely and frightening.

It is energizing for me.

Solitude can also mean something different.  I can live in my head and have long in depth conversations with myself while the rest of the world rolls on around me.  Sometimes I forget that the rest of the world are not privy to these conversations.

Why can’t you just read my mind dammit?

I can sit in a car with other people, not say a word, and be completely at ease while they squirm in their chair thinking I’m upset.  I wish I had one of those traffic LED sign things…you know, like “ warning bridge out ahead”.

Maybe that’s why I like blogging.  It’s like doing a book report of my brain at a given point in time.

Unfortunately, crazy life situations the past few years have resulted in some extended solitude for me.  I feel like I’ve lost the ability to interact with people on a non-superficial level.  I have recently began surfacing from this mental and emotional hibernation and the nerves are pretty raw.  I don’t know how to deal with constructive criticism.  I can make the leap from zero to pissed off in a half second without any real explanation.  I can’t ever seem to find the right words at a crucial moment.  What I really need is a scriptwriter to follow me around!  At times I feel like the fulcrum of all that is wrong in my universe and I’m not sure how to fix it.

Coming out of this haze, in addition to the main topic presented in this blog has my neural network firing off like a motherfucker.  I’ve been craving social situations.  Small, intimate situations with friends old and new.  Maybe it’s my way of trying to surface this submarine that has been under water a long time.  I’m currently getting some third party assistance with relating to my spouse.  I can’t seem to figure out my verbal disconnectedness so it’s much easier to go down to periscope depth which doesn’t really help the situation.

So, if your a scriptwriter looking for work…hit me up.  The pay is awful, no benefits and I can be a bit cantankerous but feel free to submit your resume.

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