Most people dread the thought of an unfaithful partner, but for some it’s a total turn-on. We take a look at why
Why are some people turned on by the thought of their significant other cheating on them?
You don’t say that you’re turned on by the thought of your significant other cheating on you, so I’ll direct my answer to the “some people” that you speak of. These folks, who are not you, are lucky because there is a wealth of fascinating theories on the topic.
This particular kink is called cuckoldery, courtesy of female cuckoo birds known for laying eggs in other birds’ nests. Initially, the term “cuckold” was used to describe men with adulterous wives, particularly those who were duped into raising other men’s offspring – a timeless, deep-seated fear that has been immortalized in the work of literary greats like Shakespeare and D.H. Lawrence. The meaning has since evolved to include those who are turned on by their partner’s infidelity. Fast-forwarding to the Internet age, you have “cucks” who actually advertise for and seek out partners — sometimes referred to as “bulls” in this sexual subculture – for their wives. Believe it or not, this genre of porn is currently “the second most popular heterosexual interest in English-language search engines,” according to the bible on such things, Sai Gadaam and Ogi Ogas’ “A Billion Wicked Thoughts.”
So, that answers the underlying question of whether the desire is abnormal, but you’re interested in the “why” of this kink. The most popularly cited explanation is sperm competition. The idea is that the sight of one’s wife with another man serves as an unconscious biological trigger that creates a sense of sexual urgency, results in more passionate, longer-lasting sex and causes the cheated-upon spouse to produce more sperm – all evolved responses that up his odds of impregnating her. A related theory is that the penis functions as a plunger, displacing rival sperm. As such, this line of thinking goes, it would be beneficial in evolutionary terms for a man to become aroused by his partner’s infidelity. As a review of a relevant text in the journal Evolutionary Psychology puts it, “intra-vaginal battles demand men to become aroused to situations that are actually unpleasant for them, for instance the suspicion of their partner’s infidelity.” In other words, men “may become very sexually aroused at the idea of their partner having sex with someone else, even though they would strongly avoid such a situation.”