Quiet, pt 2

Started into the Susan Cain book today.  During the introduction she throws out a 20 question – True/ false quiz, in case you are wondering where you fall on the Introvert, extrovert, ambivert spectrum.  She said at the end that if you answer the majority of the questions true you are an introvert.  I hit all 20.  Not a complete surprise.

Defensiveness

The Fishy Bowl

I’m extremely interested in what makes communication effective vs. ineffective. As I’m working towards becoming a psychotherapist, I think it’s crucial that I have a deep understanding of communication so that I can 1) reach my clients through my own communication, 2) recognize problem areas in my clients’ communication, and 3) help coach them to better express themselves. For personal and professional reasons, I am particularly interested in communication within intimate relationships. It’s no novel idea that good communication can be a couple’s secret to a lifetime of happiness and harmony, while poor communication can make relationships toxic and tear them apart. So what are the keys to good communication in relationships, and what are the traps of bad communication?

CoupleFight-480x330

It seems to me that defensiveness is a vital issue in communication between partners. When unmanaged, defensiveness can start a spiral of communication that escalates from a loaded comment to a…

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Quiet

40+ years of being an introvert and I’ve not ever really examined what this means other than superficially.  So I thought maybe I should finally look at this thinking that I might be able to find some solutions to some of my communication issues.

Susan Cain has a couple of books that have had high ratings (Amazon) on the topic, so I’m diving in to her book “Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking”.

I’ll post any revelations or interesting bits here as I go.

The Space In Between

A slight departure from the usual topic here.

I am an introvert.  For some people the idea of solitude is draining, lonely and frightening.

It is energizing for me.

Solitude can also mean something different.  I can live in my head and have long in depth conversations with myself while the rest of the world rolls on around me.  Sometimes I forget that the rest of the world are not privy to these conversations.

Why can’t you just read my mind dammit?

I can sit in a car with other people, not say a word, and be completely at ease while they squirm in their chair thinking I’m upset.  I wish I had one of those traffic LED sign things…you know, like “ warning bridge out ahead”.

Maybe that’s why I like blogging.  It’s like doing a book report of my brain at a given point in time.

Unfortunately, crazy life situations the past few years have resulted in some extended solitude for me.  I feel like I’ve lost the ability to interact with people on a non-superficial level.  I have recently began surfacing from this mental and emotional hibernation and the nerves are pretty raw.  I don’t know how to deal with constructive criticism.  I can make the leap from zero to pissed off in a half second without any real explanation.  I can’t ever seem to find the right words at a crucial moment.  What I really need is a scriptwriter to follow me around!  At times I feel like the fulcrum of all that is wrong in my universe and I’m not sure how to fix it.

Coming out of this haze, in addition to the main topic presented in this blog has my neural network firing off like a motherfucker.  I’ve been craving social situations.  Small, intimate situations with friends old and new.  Maybe it’s my way of trying to surface this submarine that has been under water a long time.  I’m currently getting some third party assistance with relating to my spouse.  I can’t seem to figure out my verbal disconnectedness so it’s much easier to go down to periscope depth which doesn’t really help the situation.

So, if your a scriptwriter looking for work…hit me up.  The pay is awful, no benefits and I can be a bit cantankerous but feel free to submit your resume.